I am afraid what will happen tomorrow. The demonic circle has begun again, I was asleep for a few month, but its time to wake. I was reading my old posts from the time we met each other, and I started to think about a lot of thing and my emotions kept me awake. Now I need to write, and you are fare away enough to write to.
You were my muse for a while, and I realized my writing is only good if I write it to someone I love. Without this it has a lack of emotion. What I wrote that time is kind of amazing, its beautiful, and deep.
You were the girl I was afraid of, because I knew from the first time that I will love you. I knew my love will be the kind that destroys me, and you are the kind who will be my murderer. We where in the eye of the hurricane, but after we band apart I knew the storm will come again.
I started to date that girl, who is kind of boring, but I need some peace anyway. I afraid of her because I know I could newer love her but I have that urge to have her anyway.
Before I’ve met you I dated many girls that year, and I built myself up to be someone who can love and be loved. That is the circle that begun again this year, but of course I am not sure I really need to do these stupid things again.
But I have to. That’s the way I know to open myself. I need to write, I need to have some emotions, without them I am nothing. I need them even if they are bad cause then I can build some good ones.
Well I really need to sleep now. I did five of my nine exams already but there are some bad ones left. I am happy that you are out somewhere, you who know a better me then I know right now.
Have a good year Babe. Mine is gonna be awesome!
